JUNE 2009 - RESTORATION OF THE WORSHIPPER:
The individual standing before you for counseling most likely has an entirely different agenda than God does or than you do. Most often, he or she comes in to deal with specific issues like anger, depression, relational strife, loneliness and a host of other problems that have led to isolation, despair, various addictions and other painful and often sinful activities in response. In reality, the concerns that brought the individual into your ministry are most often secondary symptoms of their deeper heart need. The individual wants to be out of pain or distress. God's plans for them, however, are bigger. God intends for them to grow in their knowledge and understanding of the One True God and to be healed by the power and truth of His Word so that they will be free to worship and enjoy Him forever.
A.W. Tozer speaks powerfully of the need to restore the worshipper in his book, The Pursuit of God:
Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which one must individually bow. So one hundred worshippers meeting together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be were they to become "unity" conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship. Social religion is perfected when private religion is purified. The body becomes stronger as its members become healthier. The whole church of God gains when the members that compose it begin to seek a better and a higher life.
The work of restoration that restores one worshipper back into fellowship in the body (a fork tuned to the standard of Jesus) is a work that restores each and every one of us into greater unity and fellowship and most importantly it is a work that glorifies our Awesome God! Because we are all a part of the body of Christ, a part of the whole, when one part is restored, we are all eternally impacted. |
JULY 2009 - DOING LIFE TOGETHER:
So much of the counseling / teaching that we do during the course of our lives are rather informal. It takes place across a kitchen table, at a soccer game, during a down moment between weekend services or while we are sipping a cup of coffee with a friend (that last one is my favorite). In those moments of pause, we have an opportunity that is unique in its expression when compared with the secular world's grasp of lending aid. The world approaches counsel in a clinical, rather formal model of relationship. If one is in need of direction or course correction, one simply finds the appropriate expert and schedules time to work through the issue (and work through the issue and work through the issue as some issues never seem to come to resolution in the secular model of professional care). And while some issues within the body of Christ require a more deliberate level of structure as we counsel one another toward restoration, the bulk of need within the body of Christ for counsel and for teaching is a need that can be met (and must be met) with intentional regularity and unfettered enthusiasm as we "do life" together.
In Romans 15:1 - 7, Paul reminds us that we, not just pastors or teachers, but all of us as we mature in Christ, we are called to live intentionally with one another.
We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, "The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me." For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.
That kind of "doing life" requires several things. One, it involves intention. You and I must determine to make relationships a priority in our own lives in order for us to be available to walk through a season with another. It also entails humility as we are called to come along side of one another and not rule over one another. Certainly, love, forgiveness, patience - in fact, all of the fruits of the Spirit - must be foundational stepping stones in responding to Paul's call to action, and none of this is even possible apart from God's grace. Having said all of that, I have come to believe that there are also tools that can be used as we respond to God's call to pass on to others what God has given to us.
I am a fan of the "tying shoes" method of relational teaching. One of the reasons I love this method is because as you are doing it, most individuals don't notice the methodology (as they would if you were standing in front of a class with an actual white board behind you), but they focus instead on the lesson itself. The second reason that I am a fan is because this method requires a purposeful investment of time, doing life.
When you first teach your toddler to tie his shoe, you MODEL how it is done. You show him using your own shoe as the example. Think about how many things you can meaningfully MODEL in your own life about how to react to a situation, how to deal with people, how to respond to suffering, etc. Think about Paul's epistles and how he MODELED his response to situations and to people and then invited those to whom he was writing to follow his MODEL as he MODELED himself after Christ. Use your life as a white board and be willing to be transparent and vulnerable as God can use those lessons to teach others how to live, how to respond, how to submit, etc.
The next step to "tying shoes" is to SUPERVISE. Once you've shown the child how to tie a shoe using your own shoe, you watch them as they try to mimic your actions on their own sneakers. The same is true in directional or correctional counseling. You MODEL how an individual is suppose to respond to being sinned against for example by sharing how, by God's grace, you responded to a need to forgive someone. Then, as they work through what it means to forgive the person who sinned against them, you SUPERVISE by asking specific questions to see if they understand the Biblical mandate to forgive.
A number of years ago, I had a woman in my class who was struggling to forgive her mother for a childhood of verbal and emotional abuse. For months, when I met with this woman, I talked with her about the freedom and blessing I had received in the process of forgiving those who had sinned against me. Her mother lived in a nursing home and continued to be verbally and emotionally abusive to this woman. After months of encouraging her to love her mother and pray for her mother (two commandments in Scripture) and of reminding her of the need to forgive her mother and how God blesses our obedience to His commands, she stepped out in faith and began the process of living out her obedience to forgive. First, I encouraged her to go on Sundays not to get something from her mom (a life time of desiring and never receiving acceptance and encouragement had fueled her struggle to forgive) but to seek ways to serve her mom and to remember that she was serving God and not man by doing so. It wasn't instantaneous, but over the course of months, she stopped dreading Sundays and found herself challenged to find creative ways to serve a person who didn't appreciate her efforts and in fact, often criticized them. Ice cream sundaes, time spent meeting her mom's physical needs and music was involved and what this woman found was simply magnificent! She found herself released from the burden and weight of caring for her mom; she found herself looking forward to Sundays; she found joy had replaced bitterness; and she found herself burdened, for the first time in her life, for her mom's eternal destiny. In short, she found freedom and peace in the expression of forgiving another as God commanded her to do - she learned to tie that shoe!
Finally, one you've MODELED and SUPERVISED, you get to do my favorite thing - EXHORT! As God gives you an opportunity speak words of encouragement, of exhortation to the individual you counseled or taught. So many of us miss this opportunity but it is essential. We need to learn to be abundant in words of affirmation as a child of God obeys, reminding him or her, of course, that it is by God's grace that they are doing so. Ask any child who successfully learned to tie his shoe and you'll appreciate how essential those words of encouragement are and how often they produce a genuine heart smile that isn't forgotten. That, my friends, is what I believe it means to "do life" together!
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