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CHAPTER 12: FORGIVENESS "They refused to listen, And did not remember Your wondrous deeds which You had performed among them; So they became stubborn and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt. But you are a God of forgiveness, Gracious and compassionate, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness; And You did not forsake them." Nehemiah 9:17 It started with a phone call. The news about the movie, "The Passion of the Christ" had begun to heat up and opening day was approaching. I picked up the phone to call my Gram and ask if she wanted to join Mom and Dad and me at the theater. I expected a "no" as Gram is not especially interested in films that are graphic in nature and this film's reputation had already been set by the movie reviewers. Her answer surprised me, "of course I want to see it". We arrived at the theater, each of us a little hesitant about what we would see. The room was packed and we were fortunate to find four seats together. My friend, Clare, who had come with us had to sit in the handicap section by herself as there was not another open space left. It's been years since I've seen a theater that full and never have I experienced one that quiet before the previews. The film began and I whispered to myself that I would not look away. It was an easy promise to keep at first. My eyes were transfixed on the screen. I didn't look away through the mock trial and flogging, though I winced more than a couple of times. The tears would not stop flowing. The road up the hill, carrying the crossbar brought more tears, but I continued to watch. Then, when they laid Him on the cross and for a brief moment He rested, I took in a gulp of air and breathed with Him. The nail was placed in the center of the His right palm and they began to pound it in. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach and my knees went weak. When they moved to His left hand, I looked away. I stared for a full moment at the darkened wall in the theater. I could see the silhouette cast by the flickering of the light off the screen as it bounced off of the audience members who were staring straight ahead. I don't know if it was that momentary glance away that did it, but all of a sudden, I felt like I was there as they crucified my Lord. I turned back to the screen as they nailed His feet and I began to whisper an audible, "I'm sorry; I'm so sorry" in the direction of the screen. Unable to completely secure the nail that held His feet, they flipped the cross so that Jesus hung on that tree, suspended only by the nails that held His limbs in place. After what seemed like an eternity, they secured His feet, righted the cross and dropped it in the hole. The agony of Christ's physical death during those final hours was portrayed in an amazing way by Mel Gibson and Jim Caviezel. They captured the horror and the injustice of that day in a powerful and impactful way. I saw, for the first time, the pure agony and inhumanity of Jesus' death and it has been burned on my brain. The visual of 'the body broken' and 'the blood poured out' now had visceral images to expound their meaning. The first time I took Communion after seeing the film was especially meaningful to me. In that, I shed tears of gratitude to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ because as Hebrews 9:22 reminded me, "And according to the Law, one may almost say, all things are cleansed with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no forgiveness." But what Mel and Jim could not capture, however, is what none of us can truly grasp. The horror of the cross, its 'scandalous beauty' if you will is that God sent His Son to be our substitute and bear the weight of our punishment. "For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21 Jesus, who had never sinned, had never known personally the bondage of sin nor its destructive power, literally became sin on that cross. Every evil, every act of deception and malice, of hatred and perversion was carried by Him who had never committed a single sin. He experienced on that cross the full vileness of every wicked and evil act in this world. He experienced on that cross the weight and guilt of us all. Remember the prophecy of Isaiah 53:4-6 "Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought our peace, and with his stripes we are healed." In that moment on the cross, Christ was what a Holy God can not bear; He became our sin. In that ugliness and transgression, He borne the full burden and impact of God's justice and punishment. For the first time, God the Son and God the Father were separated. In the scandal of the punishment Christ bore, for it should have been me, you and I met the wonderous and indescribable love of our God. Erwin Lutzer, in his book, "Cries from the Cross", put it this way: "At the cross, God's inflexible holiness and boundless love collided, and with a cry of anguish, we were redeemed. Here is sin with all of its horror and grace, with all of its wonder. The first three cries from the cross were uttered in daylight. But now nature shrouded the suffering of its Creator with darkness. This cry of dereliction, as it is called, was appropriately the middle of the seven sayings, the one that leads us into the mystery of our suffering God. 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' (Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34)" It is easy, I suppose, to be casual about our sin. A little white lie or a sin of omission and we say, "I'm sorry" and we move on. The truth of our sin, however, is that less than 100% pure is dirty and deserving of death. If it were possible for me to be almost sinless, that would mean in the eyes of God, I am completely and utterly sinful. Realizing those truths then, I am faced with my own reality. While standing at the foot of the cross, I understand that my sins were borne and carried as Jesus was wounded and crushed for my lies and impure thoughts, for my self-sufficiency, self- righteousness and self-control issues, for every moment of fear and anger and lust, for every wayward thought and careless word and hurtful deed. Jesus paid the price for my years of wandering from God, knowing the truth of His love but choosing to not let that truth change me. I put those nails through His hands and feet because of my pride; and in amazement and grief, I realize that He let me, because He loves me, even today, especially today. I am the sinner, of whom Jesus spoke in Luke 7:41 - 47 who owed the greater debt: (Luke 7:41-42) "A moneylender had two debtors; one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. So which of them will love him more?" Simon answered and said, "I suppose the one whom he forgave more." And He said to him, "You have judged correctly." In that reality, I want to be the woman who spilled the perfume out on Jesus' feet as an act of worship, of gratitude: (Luke 7:43-47) "Turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume. For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little." Which one are you? The one who owes only the fifty? Or the one, like me, who owes the five hundred? Before you answer, consider this: sin is not just about what we do, but why we do it and what we think. It is not just about the external act, but the internal heart motivation. Jesus taught, in Matthew 5:21 - 22 "You have heard that the ancients were told, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER' and "Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever shall say to his brother, 'Raca,' shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever shall say, 'you fool,' shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell." In essence, Jesus was teaching that it's not about keeping the Ten Commandments alone as an external act of obedience, but rather it is about being pure and sinless in your heart and your thoughts and your words and your actions. Considering this, how sinless are you? Or, how desperate are you for a Savior? We all could answer, should answer that we are wretched indeed in light of Jesus' exposition on sin. Here's the good news: Jesus died for us sinners and only He makes possible a restored relationship with our God through His blood shed on the cross. Jesus' death and resurrection bring the forgiveness of sins to all who repent and trust in Him alone. Forgiveness, then, is simply this: not being required to pay the debt that is owed. When I am forgiven, I've been released from my obligation to satisfy that debt. Forgiveness is nothing we can earn and therefore, nothing we can lose. If God forgives us of our sin, we are forgiven indeed! Listen to Paul in Colossians 2:13 & 14 "When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross." Amen and amen! In addition to an understanding of what forgiveness is, we need to study two other terms. The first is mercy. Mercy is not getting what we deserve. Because of our sin, we deserve death. But God in His mercy has made a way of escape that we would pass from death into life through Jesus Christ. Again, Paul says in Ephesians 2:4 & 5 "But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)." We love and serve a merciful God! The other term we need to know is grace. Grace is getting what I do not deserve. I do not deserve life eternal; that is a gift of grace. I do not deserve a relationship with my Father God; that is a gift of grace. In God's holiness, I do not deserve fellowship or hope or a future; they are all gifts of grace. Think upon the "riches of His grace" in your life as we hear again from Paul in Ephesians 1:7, 8a "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us." Have you thought today about the "riches of His grace" in your life? Those things that you and I do not deserve and yet experience in fullness because of God's mercy and love and grace. My list is endless as I deserve nothing from God but condemnation and death. Every gift - family and friends, possessions, possibilities and even the potential in my life - are treasures lavished upon me. And, I've yet to begin my eternity with Him. Can you imagine the grace when you think about all of His promises in the Word about our eternity with Him - the word lavished seems a word too small. It is impossible to appreciate or live out one's life in the correct attitude of worship and gratitude if one does not understand or grasp the power of forgiveness. We've covered the debt that we owe to God in Chapter 2. However, because we've never stood before the throne of the Righteous Judge and given an account for our sins, it is possible to escape the awful weight of what we've done (and continue to do in defiance of a holy God). At this point, then, it is vital for us to think of ourselves correctly - not as victims of our circumstances or as those who have an excuse for our sins, but rather as sinners saved by grace. This world embraces the definition of victimhood as justification for anything that follows a moment or a childhood or a lifetime of violence and betrayal. And while we are not responsible for other people's sin, we are responsible for our own lives - in word and deed, thought and action. As a Christian, we stood, at the moment of conversion, to confess that we are sinners in need of a Savior. Now, through the process of sanctification, we must not think of ourselves in any other way. We are sinners saved by grace, God's grace through the person and work of Jesus Christ. We must be mindful, each and every day, that we are without excuse for our sin and in eternal debt to the Lord Jesus Christ for His act of mercy, His heart of love, His will in submission and His blood shed on that cross. "For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." (Colossians 1:13-14) John MacArthur in his book, "Hard to Believe" quotes the prayer of a saint from long ago used as the introductory prayer in Arthur Bennett's "The Valley of Vision". In these words, picture your life as an instrument of praise to God for every gift and every treasure He has bestowed, even those moments of hardship and suffering. "Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess everything, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive. Let me find thy light in my darkness, thy joy in my sorrow, thy grace in my sin, thy riches in my poverty, thy glory in my valley, thy life in my death." We are not victims of anything, especially and including circumstance. We are "more than conquerors through Him who loved us" (Romans 8:37). Children of the King, redeemed, restored and reminded of the One who gave up everything that we would have life. That is the power of forgiveness. REPENTANCE "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." Matthew 3:2 John the Baptist really was a boring sort of preacher. Everyday, he proclaimed the same message - "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." Can you imagine walking into a church every Sunday and hearing that same sermon preached again and again. How often would you attend worship services? How eager would you be to tithe and to serve in a church like that? John's message never varied, of course, because he had been sent to do a job, one job - prepare the way for the coming Messiah. In truth, he did it very well. As we look at the text, it is worth noting the thrust of the message. John could have said, "Pray, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." or "Worship, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." But our brother repeated over and over again 'repent'. Why? Remember, John's job was to prepare the masses for the Messiah. His job was to lay the ground work for a relationship with the One who would restore them, in relationship, to their God. The only way for a Holy God to have a relationship with a sinner is through confession, repentance and sacrifice (the spilling of innocent blood to cover the offense). Jesus was about to be the Sacrifice, once and for all. His death and resurrection would restore us into a relationship with God the Father, but we would have to repent first in order to receive the covering of the blood. Every Jew who heard John knew what he meant. "Repent" means turn away from your sins, from doing things your broken, wrong and evil way by turning to God's way of living and doing. They knew that John was calling for a revival, a restoration of relationship that begins with repentance. Our lives are no different. Relationship with God begins with repentance. So, what is repentance? Repentance is a change of heart, of mind, of attitude and of action. It is genuine confession married to a change of direction. It is so much more than "I'm sorry". It is an acknowledgment before God of wrong-doing together with a desire to be transformed by God. It is helpful to think of repentance in three steps. FIRST, IT IS AN ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF MY SIN: In order to confess and repent, I must agree with God that what I have done is a sin. Here is where so many people struggle. As the human race, we hate the word 'sin'. We will confess a mistake or a misstep. We will agree that we handled things poorly and apologize for being less than appropriate, but we are loathe to acknowledge our sin. Sin encompasses will. I make a choice to do what I want and I don't like anyone telling me that I violated anyone's law, especially God's perfect Law. We rationalize and justify; we compare and negate; we measure against all others and determine that our 'mistake' was less impactful than theirs and therefore it does not rise to the measure of 'sin'. We all are cowards in this. Sin is sin; it is a violation of God's Law and when I commit a sin, I need to come to grips with it in order to confess it, repent and find forgiveness in Christ. I also need to come to grips with it for another reason. Unless I acknowledge sin as sin, I continue to live in bondage to its influence and its consequence. (I John 1:10) Freedom is only mine in truth. Remember, I am a sinner saved by grace. So are you. King Saul, the first King of Israel had trouble with seeing his sin as sin. (Read I Samuel 13:1-14 and I Samuel 15:1 - 31). In fact, Saul got into a lot of difficulty over the issue of sins and he lost his kingdom due to his stubborn refusal to see his sin as sin. In I Samuel 13:1-14, we find Saul waiting for Samuel to come and offer the sacrifice before the people of Israel were to go to war. Samuel, however, was delayed and Saul, in violation of God's Law, offered the sacrifice in his place. Only the Priests or the Prophets were allowed to offer the sacrifice; Saul had no business doing it himself. When Samuel confronted him about it; Saul replied, "the people were scattering. . .you were not coming. . .I forced myself". In other words, it's not my fault. Then, in I Samuel 15:1-23, we find Saul in another predicament. The Lord sent Saul and the people of Israel to fight the Amalekites, commanding them to utterly destroy the people and all of their possessions. Saul went out with the army and was victorious. However, he and the men kept the spoils of war in defiance of God's command (I Samuel 15:9). Again, Samuel comes and confronts Saul in his sin. At first, Saul justifies himself saying "the people" kept the best of the livestock in order to offer it as a sacrifice to God (I Samuel 15:13-15; 20 & 21). Finally, even as Saul acknowledges his sin, his focus continues to be on 'looking' right before the people rather than accepting his sin (I Samuel 15:24-31). For a clear contrast, let's look at King David, the second king of Israel. (Read 2 Samuel 11 - 12:13). David begins to get into trouble in verse 1 of chapter 11. It reads, "in the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab". David sent his general in his stead, leaving himself time to get into trouble - "idle hands are indeed the devil's workshop". Now, in verse 2, we see David on the roof (during a time and in a place he did not belong), watching a beautiful woman named Bathsheba bathe. For the second time in two verses, he is not where he's suppose to be. As so many of us do, David has opened the door to sin and quickly steps in. By verse 4, David is having an adulterous affair with Bathsheba. In verse 5, he's in trouble because she's pregnant. And in verse 6, David is sending for her husband, Uriah, in order to hide his deed. David is about to have another problem. Uriah, being an honorable man, will not sleep with his wife while the rest of Israel is away at war. What is David to do? In an attempt to hide his sin, David has Uriah killed (along with other men) in battle. Then, in a public show of 'mercy', David takes Bathsheba, the grieving widow, into his house. Now she can have David's baby and who's going to know? God will. In comparison to Saul, David's acts of treason, murder, adultery, covetousness, lies, just to name a few, seem disproportionately wicked and deserving of greater judgment. However, God is about to teach us that it is not the sin, but the response to the sin - repentance - that matters to Him. In chapter 12, as Nathan confronts David with his secret sins, we catch a glimpse of God's heart. Hearing the harsh truth of what he has done, David says in verse 13, "I have sinned against the Lord." No justifying, no rationalizing, no pathetic attempt to blame anyone else - David simply agrees with Nathan that he has sinned and David acknowledges it before the Holy One of Israel (read Psalm 51 -David wrote it after Nathan confronted him with his sin). In this, we begin to understand what God meant when He said that David was "a man after his own heart" (1 Samuel 13:14). Not perfect, not sinless, but when confronted with his sin, David agreed with God about his sin and was grieved by what he had done - no excuses, only a desire to confess, repent and be made right with God. Would that we were all like David instead of like Saul. That in the one moment, when the opportunity reveals itself, we would, in truth and in courage, acknowledge our sin before a Holy God and stand accountable for what we've done and who we are. Acknowledging one's sin is the first step in repentance. SECOND, A TRUE HEART BROKENNESS BEFORE GOD As tempting as it is to pretend that our sin is anything other than sin, it is equally appealing to treat sin, when it is confessed, as a mere blip on the radar screen in our relationship with God. We focus so heavily on God's grace that we are quick to dismiss the price paid to set us free. Whether we have told a lie, participated in some gossip or betrayed a friend, we like to gloss over the moment of heart break in favor of the restoration. Only during Communion or perhaps, Good Friday and Easter, do we pause and reflect on the blood of the Lamb. Truth be told, if we spent more time grasping the weight and the cost of our sin, I believe that we would be more thoughtful in the moment, more grieved in our confession and more grateful for His grace. David laments in Psalm 51:3 & 4 "For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment." Tears are not a prerequisite for forgiveness, but they can be a good indication of your heart. A lament not over being caught or living the consequences of one's sins, but rather over the blood-guiltiness of one's soul keeps our eyes on both the cross and the road ahead, guiding our choices in the future. There is joy in the morning and God is so gracious in His love of us. In that truth, we must choose not to be casual about our sins, for they are many and He has paid for each and every one of them. David goes on to say (Psalm 51:17), "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." AND THIRD, A DESIRE TO BE CHANGED BY GOD In John 8:1 - 11, the story is told of the woman who was caught in the act of adultery and cast before Jesus to be stoned for her sin. Jesus rebuked the crowd by saying, (John 8:7a) "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her". The oldest in the group slipped away first and the youngest followed until Jesus was alone with the woman. In verse 10 we read, "Jesus stood up and said to her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' She said, 'No one, Lord.' And Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you, go, and from now on sin no more.'" Go and sin no more. Repentance, by definition, must include a change of behavior. I can not agree with God that what I am doing is wrong, grasp the price He paid to forgive me and then go skipping back into that sin without a care in the world. Agreement with God over my sin requires agreement with God to change my behavior, whether actions, words or thoughts. While it requires my will to submit, I must understand that change only happens through the power of God. For example, if my sin is that I am harming my body through gluttony, then I need to be willing to let God change that in me. Jesus can bring about that change in several ways: through a new perspective - it is His body, on loan to me for a time so I need to care for it; through a new plan - I need to be accountable to a friend about my eating habits so that I may have encouragement from my sister; and through practice - learn what the Bible has to say on the subject by memorizing Scriptures, turning to God's Spirit for wisdom and understanding and turning to prayer for moment-by-moment assistance toward victory. As we said, repentance requires change for I can not say I am sorry about what I did and then muzzle those words as I repeat the actions or attitudes that lead to the sin. Three necessary steps to repent, to turn away from my sin and back toward a holy God. Nowhere in Scripture does God require me to live a perfect life, that would be impossible. He requires me to live a life of choice, of purpose, dedicated to His holiness and in constant gratitude for all that He has done. Repentance is a necessary, daily ingredient in that relationship. Thinking back on those moments in the theater, watching the imagines of Jesus on the cross, I think about His choice and His purpose. No one could have kept the instrument of creation on that cross unless He willingly gave Himself up. In His sacrifice, meditate on His love for you, in spite of your sin. Then, choose to live a life that reflects daily your heart of gratitude. CHAPTER 12: FORGIVENESS AND REPENTANCE GOING DEEPER: QUESTIONS FOR STUDY 1. Why is there no forgiveness without the shedding of blood? (Hint: Leviticus 17:11) 2. Do you consider yourself to have been forgiven much or forgiven little? What impact does that have on your life? 3. Do you make repentance a habit in your life? Are you broken by your sin and do you desire to be changed by God? If not, why not? GETTING TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER: APPLICATION Make a detailed list (for your eyes only) of your sins. Spend some time on your knees before God and ask Him to reveal to you sins that may not be obvious. After you finish the list, next to EVERY one, write the word ­ f o r g i v e n! or NAILED TO THE CROSS! Know that our sins are now as far as the East is from the West in God's eyes! LAYING THE FOUNDATION: QUIET TIME Meditate on these verses in Romans that expound the bondage of sin and the freedom that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Day ONE: Romans 3:21 - 26 Day TWO: Romans 5:6 - 11 Day THREE: Romans 6:10 - 16 Day FOUR: Romans 6:11 & 23 Day FIVE: Romans 8:1

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