RESTORED
God has perfect timing.
He found me at a place in my life when I was desperate for someone, anyone to save me, to help me. I was 17, and just beginning to deal with the pain that I had in my heart. God shone His light in my life in the darkest time I can remember being in.
I was born to an alcoholic mother who was not able to take care of herself, much less her kids. My father divorced her when I was two years of age. My older brother and sister and myself were separated from each other by the state for a time after the divorce. Once my father remarried when I was four, we were all brought back together as a family again. A couple years after the remarriage, my real mother died.
Going to school was a rough experience for me. The kids saw right away that I was different. I was rejected and harassed from grade school through high school. With all the chaos in my life, I began to become very angry and depressed. Not able to deal with what was going on, I put up walls around myself and would not let anyone in. I was always getting in trouble, and the schools had me seeing counselors constantly. Then, at the age of 10, my brother began to sexually abuse me. This sent me further into the spiral of desperation that had begun in me at an early age.
Junior year of high school came along, and a friend invited me to a youth group he was attending. Having come from a non-Christian family, I had no idea what to expect, but I decided to give it a shot. I heard the Gospel message for the first time at that youth group. It was such a strange sound to my ears to hear that the God of the universe loved me, died for me, and wanted a relationship with me. I had never heard anything like it before. My starving soul screamed that this was the thing I needed so much in my life. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior that same year, at 17 years of age. At that time, I had no clue what God had in mind to do in my life.
God began to put people in my life who helped continue to point me in His direction, and help me find my way out of the pain I was in. The first group of people was a family that took me in and just let me talk and cry. and they just listened, prayed and comforted me. I don't know that I would have been able to continue on if these faithful Christians had not been there to support me. I am so grateful for the blessing they have been in my life. It was through them that I began to see God's love for me, and what He can do in a person's life.
At 21, I finally found a church to be committed to. Being under dynamic, Biblical teaching has done so much for me in understanding God's truth and applying it to my life. It was at this church that I finally began to understand what it means to live as a committed Christian. I started taking a class there that changed my view of how to deal with the past I had been through. It became a critical turning point in my relationship with God. I learned how not to live as a victim of my past, but instead how to let God heal my past and use it to give Him glory and to help lead others who have been abused to His truth. It was during this class that I finally turned all the pain of my past over to God and asked Him to do whatever He meant to do with it. I chose to forgive those who had hurt me, and God gave me something from that experience that I could have never imagined I would have peace with the things that have happened to me. All the counseling I had been through did not do what God did for me the instant I turned over my past to Him; I could spend the rest of my life praising Him for the freedom He has given me in the painful areas of my life.
God has been growing me so much in seeing that I am not who the circumstances of my life have told me I am. I am only who He says I am His child. He has softened my heart, and brought me out of the darkness I was in. He has given me a reason to live, and so many things to worship Him for. I had no purpose in life before God found me; I had no idea who He was. He has become my savior, redeemer, friend, Lord. I want to tell everyone that they don't have to live their lives turning to things that will never give them what they are searching for only Christ can give you want you need.
The words of Psalm 71:20-21 have been such a comfort and encouragement for me: "Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again." That psalm has become the story of what God has done in my life, and what He continues to do now. Although the process may not always be easy, I don't ever want to imagine what my life would be if God had not stepped in when He did. I could not have made it without Him taking me through the dark times of my life. My hope is that I will continue to learn to trust Him and know that He can bring good out of anything we go through.
Kim Cunningham, age 28
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